"I wanna do something. something that is the same level with graduating from a graduate program." After I failed all MFA acting programs I auditioned with, I couldn't just sit there to fall into a dark hall. "I'm not young, and I'm not rich, I can't wait for the next chance to do something to learn more." my voices started talking. "why did I come here?" "why do I wanna go MFA in Acting?" "I might need to go back Japan….nooooo, how I can get visa to stay?" "but if I say I wanna go to an acting school, Papa will insist to come back or cut me off from family." "Yeah…. he does not believe what I wanna do…" I auditioned with Yale, Brown/Trinity Rep, Florida State Univirsity, Columbia. and I wanted to audition with Pace/Actors Studio, but I got a final call back from Columbia, and it was the same day…. I chose to go to the final call back audition, and I failed Columbia…. so I gave up to go to MFA program that year. "what should I do?" "I wanted to go to MFA… so maybe Papa will pround of me." "wait… is that the reason you wanna go to MFA?" "he does not allow me to go to an acting school, but master degree is different, and I can focus on studying! the study about what I have been dreaming of!" "but I could not get in any of them. what am I gonna do?" There were few options at the time. I graduate and do OPT, and will audition again next year. or, stay one more year as a student, then audition…. but it costs too much… I couldn't waste any time anymore… so I decided to graduate, and try it again, and if do't get in MFA next year, I will go back to Japan. I figured I needed two more credits to graduate. the half semester left… 8 weeks. my advisor, memtor, acting teacher / voice teacher, Paul Ricciardi graduated Brown Univirsity Trinity Rep MFA Program. and he told me once, thier thesis was "solo performance project." you can write your own play, or you can do long monologues. (20-40minites) Every time I went to his office, I saw the postcard of his show. He wrote his solo-show, and performed it. "Maybe I can do the simmiler thing? like thesis project at Brown university?" " I wanna do challenge… but…" I was not a big fun of "Solo-Show". I had super bias about it. I had a strong belief toward big productions. "who cares about solo show? it is low tech, and boring. who wanna hear a true story in theatre?" but at the time, I was taking a class "Comtemporary play" with Professor James. and we read and watched four totally different type of solo shows. 1. Danny Hoch's Jails, Hospitals & Hip Hop, 2. Spalding Gray's Swimming To Cambodia, 3. Anna Deavere Smith's Fires in the Mirror, 4. John Leguizamo's Freak. I hated some, I loved some. (I couldn't understand English well-- so you can imagine…) I was super impressed by Anna's work-- powerful and social message. and I was super imspired by John's work. It was super fun to watch his show, and it is personal. they opened my eyes and changed the way I was thinking about "solo-show"-the posibilities of solo work. but I was undecidable… then, I went to professor James's office. Yokko "what would you think --- why people do solo-show?" Pro. James "what do you mean, Yokko?" Yokko " I mean…. I think the big production is better, and I love working with another actor, but you said the solo-show have been popular." Pro. James "well.. the biggest reason is budget. you can put the show with low budget. and you know, sometimes you have an idea, you wanna produce the show, but it takes years to realize the idea, but it is quicker to make it happen in solo-show. you can tell the message soon." This conversation was so important for me at that time. because one of big fear was being just self indulgent myself. but if there is a solid & rational purpose, it is not about only me, it will be something else. so I felt ok. Even though I knew it would be constant my inner fights about this subject. (for 4 years-) My need was just so wild. Once I felt I want to do something, I need to do it. I love challenging. like 2000piese of Zigzo Puzzle. it seems impossible, but if you do step by step, you can achive the goal! the first motivation was just desire toward "learning." I am here, united state, to learn acting- I dont wanna leave this country if I didn't learn what I wanted to learn. So I went to Paul's office, " I decided I wanna do independence project with you! and I will do solo-performance at the end of this semester." Paul hugges me, and "It will be challenging, but we can do it!" that was beggining of March. 8 weeks project. 6 weeks writing, 2 weekes rehearsal. and showing one day. 2 credits. The ides began when I failed. | |
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December 2014
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