"He named me, Hege-chan, BALDY." (from "BALDY")
BALDY became the title of the play.
After I decided to do the indipendent project with Professor Paul (March, 2009 in SUNY Albany), he assigned me to write journal everyday about anything.
"I feel like I have multiple personality disorder… maybe I can give them names and act them out?"
"well. this must be a personal story- because other solo performers are doing-- its original."
"well…. telling my story to others? no way. that is like 'look at me-' thing- narcissistic! "
"or egoistic…"
"I dont want to be hated by people-- or disgustied by them or talking about me behind my back,,,"
"no one know if they hate me-. why do I care?"
"I can hear thier voices… and faces…"
"but I want people to understand me…"
"Yeah,, I am bad at commucating… both in Japnese and English…"
"let's do 10 characters! like strict one, young one, old one, aggressive one, negative one, sexy one, shy one and more!"
"but how?"
and I told my ideas to Paul, he said-
"lets put those ideas aside, and Write something childhood memory"
first thing I wrote was I was hit by my father when I was three. and I wrote all detail episodes of how he punished us-- on and on. it was heavy thing. I went to his office.
he siad,
"you dont need to show it to me. it is your exercise."
I explaiend what I discovered, he said,
"write happy memoris as well."
And the first episode I wrote was "the red rose."
People who have seen my show in past years, know this story well.
My father has never bought a flower. he is not the type of guy. but he gave me red roses on my birthday- when I was in the hospital- I was 22nd years old. I could not go outside, my world was juts isolated hospital room… sky from the window. bird. tree. cloud. and sometimes I could hear people's voices. only my mother, father, and my grand parents can come to see me. I did not have skin. it was just human flesh. red and raw. no hair. yeah. really look like a monster in hollywood movie. like sometimes you see a creature burned every skin and hair in SF. you can see only eyes and nose… you can see muscles, you know? I did not look like a human. however, still he sees me a daughter-human female.
red rose. red rose. red roses. its a simbol of woman to me. wine red. I do rememebr- my voices.
"he gave me 10 roses."
"ten? why 10? I became 22. he should give me 22 roses."
"come on… you are not happy to have these?"
"of course I am-"
"maybe he did not have money to buy 22 roses. itis expensive."
"come guys… Has he ever given me a flower?"
"no,,,,"
"unbelievable! he gave me roses. just recieve it."
When I registered…and saw the roses… took in the roses as a gift. something melted inside of me.
I felt I am beautiful and very feminine. I felt like I was allowed to feel female myself.
he did not give me a sword, or coockies or book or anything. flower.
while I was writing this episode, I cried, and i did not realize he was caring about me at that time.
I showed this episode to Paul. and he suggested to me to write more about my father. I wrote lots of episodes. then I tried to put together those episodes.
and the story became about My fatehr and I…
but I could not get rid of my multi personality characters thing---. Paul said,
"but you dont have multiple personality disorder,,, I think that is voices"
so, I put my inner voices strugles into the play. 6 weeks.. I was just write and re- write, grammar check, and write and write and write. my friend, Elise helped me all the time to make sense in English.
then title…
"inner voices?"
"journey?"
"if this is about My dad and I… what is our cnnection?"
My dad called me "Hage-chan" or "Hage(bald)", because I dont have hair. and he teased me all the time about it. Even though I was wearing a wig, and pretended I was a nomal japanese girl, he called out on the street "OH! HAGE !" or with rythm "Ha----Ge--- Chan!" (he does not have any decency!!)
so it is about my dad and I, and my journey,,, this might be a good title. maybe so.
Hage=Bald, Hage-chan=Baldy.
thus, the title became BALDY!
BALDY became the title of the play.
After I decided to do the indipendent project with Professor Paul (March, 2009 in SUNY Albany), he assigned me to write journal everyday about anything.
"I feel like I have multiple personality disorder… maybe I can give them names and act them out?"
"well. this must be a personal story- because other solo performers are doing-- its original."
"well…. telling my story to others? no way. that is like 'look at me-' thing- narcissistic! "
"or egoistic…"
"I dont want to be hated by people-- or disgustied by them or talking about me behind my back,,,"
"no one know if they hate me-. why do I care?"
"I can hear thier voices… and faces…"
"but I want people to understand me…"
"Yeah,, I am bad at commucating… both in Japnese and English…"
"let's do 10 characters! like strict one, young one, old one, aggressive one, negative one, sexy one, shy one and more!"
"but how?"
and I told my ideas to Paul, he said-
"lets put those ideas aside, and Write something childhood memory"
first thing I wrote was I was hit by my father when I was three. and I wrote all detail episodes of how he punished us-- on and on. it was heavy thing. I went to his office.
he siad,
"you dont need to show it to me. it is your exercise."
I explaiend what I discovered, he said,
"write happy memoris as well."
And the first episode I wrote was "the red rose."
People who have seen my show in past years, know this story well.
My father has never bought a flower. he is not the type of guy. but he gave me red roses on my birthday- when I was in the hospital- I was 22nd years old. I could not go outside, my world was juts isolated hospital room… sky from the window. bird. tree. cloud. and sometimes I could hear people's voices. only my mother, father, and my grand parents can come to see me. I did not have skin. it was just human flesh. red and raw. no hair. yeah. really look like a monster in hollywood movie. like sometimes you see a creature burned every skin and hair in SF. you can see only eyes and nose… you can see muscles, you know? I did not look like a human. however, still he sees me a daughter-human female.
red rose. red rose. red roses. its a simbol of woman to me. wine red. I do rememebr- my voices.
"he gave me 10 roses."
"ten? why 10? I became 22. he should give me 22 roses."
"come on… you are not happy to have these?"
"of course I am-"
"maybe he did not have money to buy 22 roses. itis expensive."
"come guys… Has he ever given me a flower?"
"no,,,,"
"unbelievable! he gave me roses. just recieve it."
When I registered…and saw the roses… took in the roses as a gift. something melted inside of me.
I felt I am beautiful and very feminine. I felt like I was allowed to feel female myself.
he did not give me a sword, or coockies or book or anything. flower.
while I was writing this episode, I cried, and i did not realize he was caring about me at that time.
I showed this episode to Paul. and he suggested to me to write more about my father. I wrote lots of episodes. then I tried to put together those episodes.
and the story became about My fatehr and I…
but I could not get rid of my multi personality characters thing---. Paul said,
"but you dont have multiple personality disorder,,, I think that is voices"
so, I put my inner voices strugles into the play. 6 weeks.. I was just write and re- write, grammar check, and write and write and write. my friend, Elise helped me all the time to make sense in English.
then title…
"inner voices?"
"journey?"
"if this is about My dad and I… what is our cnnection?"
My dad called me "Hage-chan" or "Hage(bald)", because I dont have hair. and he teased me all the time about it. Even though I was wearing a wig, and pretended I was a nomal japanese girl, he called out on the street "OH! HAGE !" or with rythm "Ha----Ge--- Chan!" (he does not have any decency!!)
so it is about my dad and I, and my journey,,, this might be a good title. maybe so.
Hage=Bald, Hage-chan=Baldy.
thus, the title became BALDY!